Tuesday, April 13, 2010

It's not what is taken away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left.

I like this quote mostly because I strive with great effort to live by it.  I spend way too much time dwelling on what everyone else is doing that I can't do at this very moment. I'll admit, it's an energy zapper.  If I was to be graded on how well I practice this quote, I'd probably only get a D+. For me it's easier to focus on what I CAN'T do or CAN'T have at the moment than to reflect on what I still have intact in terms of my physical being: The capacity to swim, spin on my trainer,  go to yoga and water run. I'll even go a bit further by saying, I have the luxury of getting up everyday and functioning  normally. I can make choices for myself that ultimately effect my well being in a either a positive or negative manner. Seems pretty simple.  Why would I want to impact myself with nothing but good healing thoughts and connections? Instead I have to pull my thoughts AWAY (several times a day) from not having the ability to beat myself up on a hilly  4 hour ride on a  given Saturday or run for 2 hours on a Sunday so i can sit on a Sunday night and reflect on my efforts and fitness gains, weekend after weekend after weekend.  It's a work in progress for sure.

I'm FINALLY on week 8 of recovery from my femoral stress fracture.  I've made some serious healing groundwork and I'm getting to the point where I'm feeling like I'm making some headway in the recovery process.  Phew....

There are days when I think, " Wrap it up.  Kiss the 2010 triathlon season goodbye with any hope of actually toeing a shore line competitively to race. You are WASHED UP and HUNG to DRY."

Still, there are other days when I'm looking into flights to Austin Tx  to nail an October  *A* race and cap
a season of what if's and have not's with a solid effort and smile that screams, YES!  I DID IT!!

I'm a serious waffler these days. The task seems unattainable more times than not but I feel that if I don't try, I'll regret that too but not without the risk of disappointment .  Rock and a hard place?  You bet...

Just stuff
I'm milling over...
 hourly, daily, weekly

  as a bone mends.

8 comments:

kerrie said...

oh i know that you are going to make some serious lemonade from those lemons baby!!

GoBigGreen said...

E-My how i know what you are going thru ( blahblahblah i wont go on, its your blog not mine, lol) but just know that you are young, healthy ( in terms of the BIG picture) and have the desire that will never go away. You will be beaten down, and you will get up and get up again. It's who you are.
It helps me to sometimes think ( when i am feelign like i can surrender) that if I GET OUT OF THE WAY of myself I may heal faster, and I mean emotionally heal as well as physically heal.
Ok DEEP thoughts here...how's the weather?
Hang in there!

Rebecca DeWire said...

I love your quote, that is really powerful. And what Julia said is even more powerful. I am glad to hear that you already have 8 wks of healing behind you.

Michelle Simmons said...

It's gonna feel so great to you when you can finally be back out there doing what you love. Hang in there!

Jennifer Harrison said...

OH E....I know you are a fighter! It is NOT easy to endure what crap you have been given, but kerrie is right...you will be making some SERIOUS lemonade soon. AND please do not give up on 2010. YOU have a lot of time left...it is only APRIL...and October is a far way off...you have been swimming like a monster and YOUR drive to come back will get you ready for October! HANG in there.xo

Shannon Doherty Alger said...

I don't necessarily feel qualified to comment. I am a old washed up collegiate swimmer turned runner, turned crippled runner turned cyclist. I have told my family if I don't move then you might as well ask Nanny 911 to come and take over the family. Like EDEBITETTO, I get the notion of "crumbling to dust." I use that quote often!
Here I am surfing the net trying to get free advice as to how to be a better triathlete.
BUT, EB...from one injured comrade to another, be permissive. Take it and use it to the T and you might be surprise where you end up.
Well wishes on your speedy recovery.
speedy recovery,

shannon dohery alger

Andree said...

Need an iron to go with those waffles?? You're coming back-enough said!!!

Jennifer Cunnane said...

I found your blog way of other bloggers - so sorry to hear about the fracture! It WILL get better - I am a good example - I had it last year on top of dealing with my brother just dying, took a lot of time off - 6 weeks completely off and then, 4 months no running, then started running late July. I did the Austin race in October and although not a PR, felt like one of my best races ever. Overcoming all the crap you are dealing with and getting back out there will leave you with an incredible sense of accomplishment!!